Memories

It's funny how the smallest memories are the ones that have the greatest impact. I was listening to my ipod and a song came up called, God Leads His Children by Rev. James Cleveland.



This was one of my Mother and I's favorite song! At the very beginning before the song gets started, he says, "Come Here Bernard!" And for some reason, that cracked us up everytime! haha As small of a thing as that was, it's one of my most fondest memories!

It even trumps the more hilarious memories like the time I was around 7 or 8 and I was helping her tend to the garden and she saw a snake and ran off and jumped on top of the car leaving me standing there looking crazy!

Good Times!

Hmmm

"When people show you who they are, believe them." - Maya Angelou

I've heard this quote many times before, but I never fully embraced it until now. Anyone who knows me, knows I will bend over backwards for those closest to me, even though some of those situations I ended up breaking my back. And honestly, I'm tired of being taken for granted. I'm tired of being "expected" to help you out. I've done my part as a friend. If I call you, upset, and your response is, "i'm watching tv let me call you back," then why do I even bother. My grannie always used to tell me my hospitality is my selling point, but at the same time my weakness. How wise the elderly are.

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm proud of myself, for the person I have become. But more importantly I'm proud of the guidance I've received over the years from my mother. Her heart and her wisdom has given me the strength to deal with this over the years, and i couldn't have asked for a better 18 years! No one from my family even called today to so much as to see how I was doing, but that's ok...I'M STILL STANDING TALL! I don't pull the "feel sorry for Amber card." I just keep living life as usual, and keep thanking God for all the blessings I continue to receive! SOOO...to my mother (who's probably correcting God's english haha), HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Thank You

This blog is a Thank You letter to the one person (besides Jesus lol) that was there for me come rain or shine. So Thank you, for taking off work all those times I was sick to take care of me and take me to the doctor. Thank You for introducing me to music, and then supporting me when I decided to get involved in it. Thank You for keeping me in check when I THOUGHT I was grown! Thank you for reminding me that when you ASKED me to do something, it really wasn't an option! LOL Thank you for introducing me to Jesus and teaching me to walk with him on this journey of life. Thank you for telling me that you're proud of me. Thank you for caring enough to know my likes and dislikes. Thank you for pushing me to do the best I could. Thank you for taking time out of your day to ask me how I was doing. Thank you for always understanding me. Thank you for trusting me to do the right thing. Thank you for never giving up on me...ever. Thank you for always listening to me. Thank you for always having a shoulder for me to cry on. Thank you for ALWAYS believing in me. Thank you for teaching me how to cook! Thank you for teaching me the harsh lessons of life and how to brace myself when I am confronted with them. Thank you for never hesitating to put me first. Thank you for so many beautiful holiday seasons. Thank you for protecting and providing for me. Thank you for snapping me out of brat mode! HAHA Thank you for being stern and teaching me how to stand up for myself. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for teaching me how to love. Thank you for being a wonderful person inside and out. And most of all...




THANK YOU, for being MY mother!


You will NEVER be forgotten and I am still proud of you!


Love,
Your daughter, Amber

It is what it is

Today was A LOT better than yesterday...no help from my "friends" though. I was listening to the hold your dreams song from the movie fame, and I really got excited! Excited because I can finally move on, I can finally start doing things for me. My whole life I have put my friends, my family, my work, really everything before myself, but that ends...like today! I have helped friends out only to get ignored when I need them most. I have listened to many problems and honestly tried to help the situations, and no love is returned...ehh #kanyeshrug, it's what the secular do. I can only imagine how Jesus feels! But i'm not mad...not at all, instead I'll continue to be there...as always, because honestly, I don't have the heart to ignore my friends, or the energy to fight it. It's like my mom always said...pick your friends wisely, backstabbers come in all forms.

Peace ♥ and LOL

Cherish the Moment

The Lord is really testing me right now. Everyday of my life is a constant struggle to deal with my mother's death. I'd give up every dime and possession I had to just say hello to her, but unfortunately I can't. I'm definitely walking through a rough patch in life right now, and it's getting overwhelming. This feeling of abandonment i'm feeling is a heavy load to bear. Those of you that know me know that I'm always laughing and joking around and it really is genuine, but there's some people throwing some sharp daggers in my happiness right now. I have a lot to be proud of myself for, I'm a college grad, I have a job(Amen), and I have some amazing friends, but I feel so disconnected from my family sometimes that it's hard. And maybe that's my fault. The two people that raised me are 6 feet in the ground. Maybe I'm scared to let people in too deep for fear that I might lose them too. One thing I know for sure is that my eyes stay on God, and this "rough" patch I'm going through will pass! There's a song by the cheetah girls,(lame I know haha), called "Cherish the Moment" and the chrous goes, "Cherish the moment, live for today. We all get lost, just don't lose your way. We all love the sun but we still need the rain, so what good is it too complain, It don't change a thing." So with that, I'll take these hard times and use them as another rung in my ladder on my way to the top! :)

I feel a lot better haha

Peace, ♥ and sooooouuulll